Wednesday, October 14, 2009


I am on such a roll! This un-scheduled vacation has been good for me!

Ever have one of those days where you can’t remember the important things, but do remember the really bizarre, inane, or obscure? Where right in the middle of something important you suddenly have a case of Déjà vu.

Now Déjà vu, by definition, is the “feeling of having already experienced a situation”. Like going to a place you’ve never been to before and knowing your way around.

I have something similar to that, but different, that occurs. Every memory has a key that causes it to come forward into your conscience thought. There’s a fancy technical medical name for it, but I don’t know what it is, and cannot seem to find it, even though I have some amazing resources at my disposal. Finding things is the basis behind Colorado Finders (.com). So does that make me a failure? I digressed. I digest too, but that’s another story.

Anyway, every once-in-a-while I will suddenly have a very vivid memory of some obscure location that at one time or another I had visited. I may have only been there once, but I could tell you most anything about that place. (I could, but I probably wouldn’t.) When that happens I check my surroundings and what’s going on around me to try to figure out what the key was to trigger the memory.

One person theorized that I was having an OOBE, or an Out Of Body Experience, and going back to that location, hence the ‘memory’ of that place in vivid detail. My sister says good medication will take care of those theories.

Whatever the case, every once-in-a-while I short-circuit and can’t remember what I need to. So, because of that problem, as a public service I am giving you a couple of tidbits that your memory probably can’t dredge up either.

Remember Snow White and the Seven Dents? No, sorry, that was the X-rated version. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs? I know, that’s not a PC title, but I didn’t write it. Anyway, here’s the name of the Seven Dwarfs:

Doc, Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy, Bashful, Sneezy, and Dopey

Here’s another goodie for you. Remember the Roadrunner? In the original cartoons the coyote was called “Coyote”. Later they expanded his name to “Wiley E. Coyote”. Do you know what their Latin names are?

Road Runner: Accelleratii Incredibus

Coyote: Carnivorous Vulgaris

My job here is finished.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009


Sometimes people need help.

Many times those people who need help are too proud to ask for it. They go without any help, trying to go it alone. They may succeed, and they may not.

And then there are those who, even after swallowing their pride and asking for help, are refused by those they thought they could look to for help. And they too go without any help, trying to go it alone.

Then there are those who need help, and without asking anyone, are offered help in one form or another. This is the situation my daughter, Tanya, has got me in.

She and her husband, Robbie, have quit smoking. At least that is the declaration she gave me. Truth be told, having to put up with a husband and newborn child, Tanya hasn’t actually stopped smoking. I talked with her on Monday, October 12, 2009, and she was making that familiar whooshing/gagging/hacking/heavy breathing sound that smokers make when they’re talking on the phone and sucking on their cancer sticks.

In a manner by which I still cannot figure out, I “volunteered” to help her quit smoking.

Short story long, if I send her a picture of me in a cheerleader outfit, (complete with pompoms of course) she promised me that she would quit smoking completely. She would proudly hang the 8 x 10 full color glossy in her living room for all to see, and to remind her the sacrifice her Daddy made for her to quit smoking.

And there would be a silver lining to that: I would hang a copy of said picture on my refrigerator which I am sure would help me lose lots of weight. And the death of household vermin would be a welcome side effect.

Tanya stated that the method of acquiring said cheerleader outfit would probably be easier at this time of year since Halloween is just around the corner. She told me, also, that photo-chopping by Kevin would not be permitted. He’s already done that to me with a girdle and bra combo. I actually looked pretty good in that outfit, so the cheerleader get-up may not be so bad.

I love how my Daughter is so willing to help me make a fool of myself!