The Short Fat Truck Driver

Florida Vacation, 2011

2011-12-14T01:33:00.000-08:00

I was able, by the Grace of God, go to Florida for a short vacation. This was precipitated by the news that my nephew, Neil, was going to be graduating from college. It was also a welcomed respite from the Colorado cold and snow!

Neil graduated from the University of Southern Florida with a Bachelors degree in Psychology. I told him if he needed a job I'd teach him how to drive a truck.

His lovely (and especially rambunctios) wife, Marisol, is expected to graduate in May from USF as an RN.

Of course, while in Florida, I got to see my dear olde Mother. Nursing home living does not do a person well. She has dropped in weight to under 100#! It's no wonder that my Lady friend took care of her Mother at home for the last few years of her life. But, it was good to see Mom again.

My other nephew, Stephen, was in from Columbus, Ohio, along with his lady friend. And the boy's dad and his wife were there also. At the graduation party there were about 20 family members and close friends of Neil's. It was nice. The balloons sucked.

The weather was warm, in the 70's all week, down in the 50's at night. Got to go down to the Gulf, had lots of great food, and went swimming. All-in-all it was a great week.

On the way home I got to see, from the air, Anna Maria Island, Rotten Ralph's restaurant, the pier, the Sunshine Skyway bridge, Tampa, and St.Pete. The airplane back to Denver circled around downtown Atlanta, so we got to see it from the south, east and north. There was some turbulence coming into Colorado, but nothing the pilots couldn't handle.

Now I get to go back to work. Goodie.

Abraham's Sacrifice

2011-11-16T00:13:00.000-08:00

“Prove all things; hold fast that which is good”,
1Thessalonians 5:21
“Question everything”, Einstein

It started out as a curiosity.

You may know the story, but follow this compendium as it is written to get the full impact of the point I wish to make.

I remember reading in my Bible in the book of Genesis about Abram wanting a son by his wife Sarai, but because she was “barren” she could not bear one. So she reasoned that if she was going to have a son, that maybe she could have one by her Egyptian handmaid Hagar (Gen 16:2). “…And gave her to her husband Abram to be his wife.” So Abram went in to Hagar and she conceived.

Then, because of strife between Sarai and Hagar, Hagar fled from Abram’s camp to get away from Sarai. Resting by a fountain of water in the wilderness, an angel of the Lord had an exchange with Hagar, and told her “Return to thy mistress, and submit thyself under her hands.” (Gen 16:9) “And the angel of the Lord said unto her, I will multiply thy seed exceedingly, that it shall not be numbered for multitude.” (Gen 16:10)

Hence Hagar bore Abram a son, and they named him Ishmael. Abram was 86 years olde.

“And when Abram was ninety years old and nine, the Lord appeared to Abram…“ (Gen 17:1) “And I will make my covenant between me and thee, and will multiply thee exceedingly.” (Gen 17:2) “…my covenant is with thee, and thou shalt be a father of many nations.” (Gen 17:4) From that point forward, Abram was called Abraham.
“As for Sarai thy wife, thou shalt not call her name Sarai, but Sarah (princess) shall her name be.” (Gen 17:15) “And I will bless her, and give thee a son also of her: yea, I will bless her, and she shall be a mother of nations:…” (Gen 17: 16)

So when Abraham was 100 years olde, Sarah bore him a son, and they named him Isaac.

This is where my curiosity started. In the process of researching this subject I came across lots of interesting information. In the end I didn’t get the answer I was looking for; I got something better!

There are going to be overlaps, so I will take this part by part.

In Genesis chapter 22, God calls to Abraham to take Isaac to a designated mountain and sacrifice him. For Abraham to take his son and sacrifice him would set an undesirable precedent: that is being human sacrifices. So then, “why would God "test" Abraham to sacrifice Isaac while prohibiting child sacrifice to the god Molech?” (ref 1) Which begs the question: “Why did God punish the Canaanites for child sacrifice, when He personally ORDERED Abraham to do it?! See Glenn Miller” (ref 2)

One of two things would have to happen: either God would intercede and the son would not be sacrificed; or if Abraham did as he was told, then God would raise the son from the dead. As you probably know, the former occurred, for if the latter had, that would have justified the Canaanites child sacrifices, and lessened the impact of Jesus’ Resurrection.

Ishmael was Abraham’s firstborn. God always demanded the first fruit of the faithful’s labors. So I wondered, if Ishmael was the first-born of Abraham, why didn’t Abraham take him to sacrifice?

I was talking religion with a tanker driver trainee, Marwan, who is Muslim, and he told me the story about Abraham’s sacrifice as he knew it from the Quran. Abraham heard God, and went to Egypt to get Ishmael for the sacrifice. Abraham did this because Ishmael was the firstborn.

Here are John Gill's comments on only son: "thine only son Isaac; for, though Ishmael was his son, he was a son by his maid, by his concubine, and not by his wife; Isaac was his only legitimate son, his only son by his lawful wife Sarah; the only son of the promise, his only son, in whom his seed was to be called: " (ref 2)

But in Genesis 16:2, it says: “…And gave her to her husband Abram to be his wife.”

This got me wondering about the veracity of the King James Bible. But as Glenn Miller put it: “Actually, you are missing what we ALL are – most of the story!
“The story in Genesis 22--The "Binding of Isaac"-- is a classic case of a narrator selecting ONLY the details needed to make his point--and ONLY addressing his own authorial question. The passage is so focused on the teeth-gritting commitment of Abraham and his absolute confidence that he would NOT lose his divinely given son Isaac, that the explanatory details are stripped out of the bare events to drive his point home. There is virtually NO dialogue or background given in the passage--highly unusual.” (ref 1)

The Answer: Muslim, Christian or Jew, the story of Abraham’s Sacrifice is NOT about which son was sacrificed, but God’s covenant with Abraham! It is about God making a promise to a man, and keeping it! It is about a man, Abraham, having faith, listening to God and obeying what He tells him!

The Better Answer: God made a promise to our Forefathers that they would get their religious freedom in a land that would become the United States of America!

From the Declaration of Independence:
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.—(ref 3)

Bill of Rights, Amendment I:
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; (ref 3)

The point here being, considering the condition of our country at this writing, “We The People” need to accept the Gift that God has given us, that being our country, and the freedom and blessings associated with it. He upheld His end of the deal to allow us to live where we can have religious freedom. Now it is up to us to uphold our end of the deal and exercise our right to religious freedom.

Muslim, Christian or Jew, we are all descendents of Abraham, united by faith in the one God. All persons that believe in God need to unite together in prayer and ask Him to correct the mistakes that we as a country have made, and to restore that which He meant for us to have. We need to humble ourselves before God.

Statistically, 84% of our country believes in God; that means 16% don’t. So why are we, the majority, succumbing to the rantings of a overly-vocal few? We have bent to the will of man, instead of obeying the Will of God. We have allowed God to be removed from our public offices and schools. We have turned our back on God! Politician or commoner, it is high time for us to obey God’s commandment(s) or face the consequences. Ever hear of Sodom and Gomorrah?

As Abraham had faith in God to fulfill His covenant with him, “We the People of the United States” need to be like Abraham, to have and exercise our Faith in God.

And pray that we aren’t too late.

Addendum: Wisdom that was left off from the original.

Part of the problems that we are experiencing in this country is because the people that we have elected into office over the years are more interested in fulfilling the wants and needs of either their peers, or of their constituents. They have forsaken the teachings of their parents and of the Bible to satisfy their own cravings.

If decisions by the lawmakers were based upon Biblical teachings, then we would not have Roe Vs Wade, welfare, and a slew of other undesirable after-effects of their actions.

The politicians that are running our country need to now embrace the one true God. The time is coming that those who shun God will have to answer for their insolence.

“We The People” need to elect only those who fear God and will act accordingly. Beware the decisions you make at election time.

References:

1) http://christianthinktank.com/qkilisak.html
2) http://www.apocalipsis.org/Abraham.htm
3) http://www.archives.gov/exhibits/charters/

Gary is gone

2011-09-14T03:56:00.000-07:00

A tribute to Gary Agee

Way back when, the Boss told me that he had hired a new driver, Gary. I almost never get to see the day driver(s), so I thought the Boss was yanking my chain about hiring a new guy. A figment of his imagination, if you will. Eventually, Gary appeared. He was real!

As I understand it, Gary had worked with the Boss at another company years ago, and then later worked for the Boss. He then went to work in the oil fields, hauling crude oil. Eventually he got tired of that, we needed another good driver, so Gary came to work for us.

He was a driver’s driver: confident around trucks, willing to learn, and very capable.

Then his son-in-law died. About a month later the family all decided to go up into the mountains. The stress of his son-in-law’s death, smoking, and the high altitude probably all contributed to Gary having to be rushed down out of the hills to a hospital. He was diagnosed with pneumonia. He almost died.

Seven arduous weeks later, Gary was permitted last Thursday by his doctor to come back to work. Yay!

I caught up with him at one of our stores and he sounded and looked good! Optimistic and happy to be back at work. I encouraged him to enjoy being back, and to take his time until he got back into the swing of things. I also told him that God had given him a second chance and to not blow it. He agreed.

Sunday evening, according to reports, Gary was north-bound on I-25 when he exited to US-34 east-bound. It is said that he took the corner too fast, the truck flipped on its side, exploded and burned. Gary didn’t make it. Makes me wonder.

Fuel Haulers mourn the loss of another one of their own.

We’re going to miss you Gary. Take care and God bless.

A Reason, A Season, A Lifetime

2011-09-12T14:06:00.000-07:00

A Reason, a Season or a Lifetime.

You never know when your guardian angel will be there for you so I have to try...

After you have finished reading this, you will know the reason it was given to you.

Here goes:

People come into your life for a Reason, a Season or a Lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.
When someone is in your life for a Reason, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support,
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a Godsend and they are.
They are there for the Reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do
something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a Season, because your turn has come to share,
grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.

Believe it, it is real. But only for a Season.

Lifetime relationships teach you Lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a
solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all
other relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being a part of my life. . . .
. . Whether you were a Reason, a Season or a Lifetime.

Origin and author unknown.

I got "The Sign"

2011-08-21T04:19:00.000-07:00

I was heading up I-25 in heavy weekend traffic, watching the idiots in front of me.

A small, green sedan pulled up along side of me to my left. I didn't think anything about it, especially since I was busy watching the traffic. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed movement from the car that wasn't common. I looked over and a cute blond was holding up a sign that said "Hi". It was a pre-printed sign, about a foot across, white with black lettering. I chuckled and waved at her. She then held her arm out the window, pumping it up and down with a closed fist, signaling that she wanted me to toot my horn, so I obliged.

The Dumb Ass in the lane to my right almost ran off the road.

The blond and her male driver then sped up, waving as they drove away.

I laughed at this interaction all the way to my delivery location. It had been years since somebody had done something like that. I appreciated their friendliness, especially in the middle of traffic.

Pita

2011-07-28T01:45:00.000-07:00

Well, Pita is gone.

She came into my life one day as I was putting milk away in the refrigerator. I noticed that one of my bottles of tea that I had made had fallen over and some of the contents had drained out of the container. So while I was on my hands and knees cleaning out the bottom of the refrigerator, I felt something crawl across my foot.

Not being the jumpy sort, I looked down and saw a brownish-grey rat staring back at me. She skittered off to around the back of the sofa, but was easily coaxed out.

She was well fed, ignoring the food and water I offered her. She must have belonged to somebody, but nobody fessed up. What was I to do? Flush her down the toilet? Gracious, NO! So being the good steward, I went and got a cage, bottle, bedding, a ball, food, and who knows what else. I figured I'd take care of her until somebody came and got her.

The circumstances by which she entered into my life prompted me to name her "Pita", short for Pain In The Arse! It was a very appropriate name.

Being a rat, I couldn't just let her run freely around the apartment, since rats have an inclination to gnaw, chew, chomp, and raise hate-and-discontent with printer wiring. I found this out the hard way. Fortunately, I am adept at repairs...

Pita would sit on my lap while I was eating dinner and eat with me. I could always tell when she was full, because she would stop eating (unlike me!), snuggle down, and go to sleep. Like children, cats and puppies, she was cute when she was asleep!

As time progressed she slowed down, just sitting in her ball when I put her in there. More apt to sleep than to come out to play. Finally, age and rat maladies took their toll.

I keep trying to tell myself that it was only a rat. But she was a very cute rat. I am going to miss her.

April Fools Day

2011-04-02T03:02:00.000-07:00

Just after midnight I realized what the date was: April 1st, 2011. The dawning realization that it was April Fools Day suddenly made my night that much more interesting!

Oh, my job is plenty interesting, what with running the mountains in snow storms and having to deal with all of the associated problems. Or driving around Metro Denver just after the bars close. At least at 2:00 in the morning when you see somebody driving stupid, you KNOW why they're driving stupid. At 9:00 on a weekday morning when they're driving stupid, it's scary.

Anyway, I got my mind to quit wandering, sit down, shut up, and hang on, and figure out what I could do to get the maximum amount of mileage from an April Fools stunt. Then it hit me! I was laughing too hard to hit it back, so I ran with it. My divorce took more than a year to resolve, and many people have asked me if I would marry again. That was the stunt.

I text ten people, including my kids, and told them: "I'm getting married."

My Sister responded with: "I'm getting sick..."
Bob responded with: "WTF?"
Michael and Krystal thought I'd gone over the deep end.
Bill was confused.
Then they all were mad at me when I text them back: "Happy April first".

Not surprisingly, and kudos to them, Tanya and Terence knew it was a prank and that I'm full of $hit! My kids, what do you expect?!?!?! They're used to Dear Olde Dad doing something like that to them.

All told, I got a good 24+ hours of humor out of this!

I have 365 days to get ready for next year and to top this year. Wish me luck! It's going to be tough.

Death

2011-02-12T21:51:00.000-08:00

Published Greeley Tribune September 7, 2001

Death. The first time I encountered the phenomenon was with my Father. We were living in Northglenn at the time, and I was only 14 years old. He had come home the day before from a sales trip, and had taken on repainting the trim around the house.

I was ‘helping’ him when the weather turned nasty, and I started taking stuff back into the house. It couldn’t have been more than a couple of minutes when my sister screamed. I ran outside to find my Father on the ground, collapsed next to his car. He was gone, the victim of a heart attack.

Death became personal in 1982, when my world was turned upside-down with the diagnosis of a broken neck and consequent surgery. Wearing a halo brace, I was feeling really low one day, and I sat myself down at the dining room table with a loaded pistol and a note pad in front of me. I wanted to write down how I felt, about not being able to get around like I used to, not being able to work, my wife being pregnant with our first child, etc. Because of everything, I felt like less of a man. I started writing, and soon found myself writing a poem about Death. Incidentally, it took me 20 years to realize, as of last November, that The Lord was with me that day, but that’s another story, if not a book.

I have talked to many people who have considered suicide. One common denominator amongst them is they regularly think about it. Why? Because ‘It’ is the only constant in their lives. Look around your life and see the way things change, every day, even by the minute. It can be overwhelming.

From my perspective, a person who contemplates suicide has done so over a period of time, so there are indications of the impending event. It’s not like a person wakes up one morning with the Klingon philosophy on their mind: “Today is a good day to die”. 20/20 hindsight is Man’s greatest attribute, and those that are left in the wake of a suicide say things like “I didn’t think he’d do it”, or “I should have seen it coming”.

But people die every day from occurrences that are not of their doing. Because of the unexpected suddenness, people should be prepared. Sounds rather contradictory, but it makes sense.

First, and I’m sure you’ve all heard it before, you should have a will and life insurance. I want to take this a step further. If you can afford it, have a small life insurance policy entrusted to a friend, or somebody who can front the monies. That way, in the event of your death, people who cannot otherwise afford to travel to your funeral can do so with the proceeds from the policy. Disclaimer: Always check with your financial and legal consultants before doing anything.

In a letter to Dear Abby the writer was bemoaning the fact that an old friend had died. Because she hadn’t heard from her friend in a while, she set out to find out if there was a problem, and consequently was informed by the family about the death. Similarly, I had a Great Aunt that had died, and one day when I inquired about her health, was told she had died six months before! Obviously non-notification is a common problem.

So, make a list of the people you want informed upon your demise. This can be incorporated into the will, left with a friend or the executor of the estate. See disclaimer.

Finally, have the last word. Literally. Make up tapes or CD’s for the people you LOVE, telling them about the way you feel towards them. Tell your kids how proud you are, your spouse about the wonderful life you had, etc. Use your imagination and be nice; This may be your lasting legacy.

And remember, someday it may be too late to tell them you LOVE them, so do it today.

I Love my kids:
Tanya, Robbie and Trinity;
Michael, Krystal and Colton; and last but not least
Terence, our Army brat!

Love you too, Kiddo!

THE POEM

August 1, 1997 DEATH
Originally written July 27, 1982 (That Day!)

DEATH, that cunning artist of despair. It stalks its prey anytime, day or night, seeking young or old, healthy or sick, or those caught unaware. It hovers over you when you are eating, sleeping, or just sitting. It can act directly or use one of its allies, Man. It can act swiftly and mercifully, or slow and agonizingly.

We have all seen DEATH. It is apparent everywhere we look:

A loose board on the stairs;

Teenager with his parents car on Friday night;

An armed robber at a bank;

A person eating dinner after too much to drink;

A hot bubble bath.

It even strikes on joyous occasions:

A birth;

A wedding;

A party.

But it is most subtle when it creeps up through a person's emotions:

Despair;

Lonliness;

Fear;

Hate.

Mostly, DEATH attacks people through others, but its greatest joy is when it makes a person turn on himself.

Suicide is DEATH's ultimate ecstasy!

And DEATH is ecstatic right now.

Achievement!

2011-01-18T01:50:00.000-08:00

Maria, my Lady friend, is a certified CNA!

She had taken care of her Mother (and Mom-in-law, and Dad, and Dad-in-law) up to the day that she died. Afterwards, I had suggested to her that she should investigate going into the health care field since she liked working with older people, and she had experience as such. I think her son must have heard me, for last year he signed her up for CNA (Certified Nurses Assistant) classes and paid for them!

She was in a panic! Understandably so, since she had not been in school for over 30 years! I told her that I knew she could do it, and obviously her son thought so too. She could, and she did.

She did well in the clinicals which is three days working (volunteering) in a nursing home to get the practical experience of what would be expected of them, with her being one of the few that didn't get kicked out. A few of the younger persons got removed from the premises by the instructor for spending time on their phones, chatting and texting, when they were supposed to be working.

She did well in class, with her final score being a 92!

Then Sunday, January 9, 2011 she went to go take her skills test for the state. She passed!

Maria is walking on sunshine right now!

Out of about 30 people that were in her class, only about 5 graduated.

I explained to her that her accomplishment is not just a really big Atta Girl for her, that it's an accomplishment for others as well. She showed some of the younger people that the world does not owe them anything and that they have to work for what they get. Also, just because somebody is over 50, that doesn't mean that their life is over and to roll over and die. There still can be a career or career change if they set their sites on it.

Maria is appalled by the nay-sayers in her life that told her she was wasting her time. I for one cheered her on every step of the way, and even did for her things that would help her along. As she looked around she found many people that were positive and supportive.

It was tough, as she will attest to, having to learn how to study. She spent many a long night watching an instruction video to learn each-and-every step for the various duties she may encounter. All that while still maintaining her household.

So, kudos to Maria for stepping up and achieving!

Bad Luck

2011-01-05T23:15:00.000-08:00

As the olde saying goes, if it wasn't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all! I hope and pray that 2011 is better for me, you, and the country.

But at least I'm still blogging, which is more than I can say for the man who got me started. His blogs are so olde... How olde are they?!?!?!? To say they are from last year would be an understatement.

Life sucks. Happy New Year.

NaNoWriMo end

2010-11-30T20:40:00.000-08:00

Well, that was fun. NaNoWriMo is over for 2010 and I tried, but... It's really tough to write when you don't have time. From the 16th to now (30th) I have not had a single day that work didn't kick my ass. Each and every day I was so tired that I could not take time to write.

I asked the boss for some extra loads, but I didn't mean for him to try to kill me off!

Then today came along. My second to last load was to a customer that I've had problems with before, and today was no exception. I told the boss after run-in #2 that if it happened again, I would not go back. That's what I told him this morning. AND... I was supposed to work tonite, but am so pissed off at that yayhoo that there is no way I could objectively and safely do my job, so I called in dead early this morning. I think I pissed the boss off.

Well, can you blame me? I just got out of an abusive relationship and will be damned if I'm going to put up with some low-life convenience store worker getting mouthy with me and insulting me.

Okay, maybe this is my ego talking, but I STILL will not put up with anybody verbally abusing me. Period. End of story.

I'm going to bed. G'nite all.

Lonliness, Part 1

2010-10-25T03:35:00.000-07:00

As a driver, I learned a long time ago how important it is to get enough sleep. When I was driving Over The Road (OTR) and I got home, I usually was in a bad mood due-to-the-fact-that I was tired. Being tired and grumpy made my time at home not as enjoyable as it should have been. So when I realized that, thereafter when I was on my way home and tired, instead of going home where I wanted to be, I would stop and take a nap to refresh myself.

When I got the job with Precision Fuel Haulers, being tired took on a whole new meaning. There were days that I would put in only 12 hours, but there were others that I put in 18 – 20. From the shop back to the ranch was a 45 minute drive. So if I had a long night, then had to drive back to the ranch, shower and eat, that left only a few hours (4 – 5) for me to sleep, if I was lucky. That is not enough for me, especially when I have to drive an 80,000# guided missile!

Then there were two incidents: one, when I fell asleep at the wheel of my car going home; and another when I realized I was home and had not a clue as to how I got there! I decided for safety’s sake to get an apartment in Greeley close to the shop. If I had a long night, I would stay at the apartment; if it was short, then I’d go back to the ranch.

That day started out about as typical as any other day. I had stayed at the apartment and got up at 3 P.M. like I did, and got to the shop about 5. There was nobody else there. Got my dispatch from the boss on the phone and head on down to Denver. I went to Suncor, the refinery, and loaded up the truck. There was one truck pulling out as I pulled in, and as I was leaving a couple of other trucks showed up. I made my delivery, and there was nobody at that station as they were closed. I then went to the Conoco pipeline and loaded for Avon. Once again as I pulled out a couple of trucks showed up as I was leaving. I drove to Avon and as my luck would have it, the store was closed by the time I got there, and there was nobody there. I made my delivery and headed back to Denver to Suncor to load up. There were no trucks there. I head up to Greeley to make my delivery and that station, too, was closed. Got done at that delivery, went back to the shop and dropped off the truck. There was nobody there. That was a short night in comparison to some nights. But I was tired, so I decided to go back to the apartment.

When I got back to my apartment, everybody in the building was still in bed or had already left for work. I didn't see anybody there. I got up to my apartment and got ready for bed. I said my prayers and thanked God that He once again kept me safe.

I laid down and then it dawned on me: it was kind of like a wave washing over me, a very weird sensation, one that is very difficult to explain, even as a writer. Not unlike the bottom dropping out of a bucket, or that moment when you close the door on your car and you realize you left the keys inside. The whole night, for that 11 hours, I didn't have contact with any other human! I saw nobody else in person, and I talked to no other person, person to person. The only person I had talked to was the boss on the phone when I got my dispatch.

The weight of that realization laid me flat out like I was crushed by a ton of bricks. I instantly succumbed to the wave of emotion that washed over me. I had suddenly realized how alone, and lonely, I was.

I'm Single

2010-10-24T14:31:00.000-07:00

Well, now that I'm Single, I can take you on my journey of the past four (4) years. But in the meantime, a (humorous? sordid? stupid?) thought that came to mind yesterday:

I should go out and buy a New Car! On a six (6) year note, it will be paid off the same time as the Court Ordered Maintenance!

Until next time, keep the rubber side down.

OrganoGold Coffee

2010-09-30T00:15:00.000-07:00

THE BIG NEWS!

I am now a distributor for OrganoGold. Those of you who know me know that I am NOT one to jump on any bandwagon. Their products have Ganoderma Lucidum Extract which make them healthy. OxyMoron? Healthy Coffee!

Not only do they have three kinds of coffee: Black, Latte’ with just the right amount of cream and sugar, and Mocha for a chocolate fix, but they also have Organic Green Tea for the maximum anti-oxydents, which I like, and Hot Chocolate, also with the Ganoderma Lucidum Extract. If you’re not into healthy coffee, they have

Nutraceuticals!

Want to know more? Go to my website: http://smurray.organogold.com/
There you can read about the products and the Ganoderma.

Now I have to ask a favor of you: Please go to my website http://smurray.organogold.com/ and order up a box of your favorite Coffee, Green Tea, or Hot Chocolate. This is a home-based business and I would appreciate your help getting it off the (coffee) ground! Sorry, bad pun.

You feel it’s a little risky just ordering up a box of coffee sight unseen? For two (2) weeks from the posting of this here on my blog, I’ll make YOU an offer you can’t refuse: Order a box of Coffee, Green Tea, or Hot Chocolate, and I’ll personally guarantee your satisfaction.
I am SO certain that you will like the products, and what the Ganoderma does to you and for you, that I will buy back any portion that you don’t use *. The boxes come with 30 packets, good for at least one serving per day. Give it a month and see what it can do.

Now, I’m not a coffee drinker, but a friend of mine is. About 4 in the afternoon she decided to have a cup of coffee. Since the OrganoGold Coffees come in single serving instant packets, she tore open a Black and added hot water. About 2 the next morning she was feeling like she had wound down enough to go to sleep!

At 1 that morning I was dragging, after already having had a long day and still had a long night to go. Realizing the effect the coffee had on her, I took a Mocha and a Hot Chocolate, mixed them together and enjoyed them while loading at Conoco. Yes I used hot water in a cup! While loading I could feel the fatigue fade away! I had a nice, warm alertness all night, with the effects slowly wearing off by about 10 that morning. At 11 I was back at my apartment and went to bed. I fell right to sleep, and awoke 6 hours later feeling refreshed. No caffeine jitters, no caffeine after-affects. The Ganoderma helps smooth out the effects of caffeine.

Another benefit I believe I’ve derived from the OrganoGold Green Tea with the Ganoderma is that I have NOT had a headache since starting to drink it! I make it hot in an empty Gatorade bottle and let it steep. (The Green Tea comes as a tea bag.) Then when cold I add a couple of packs of Sweet-N-Low and drink it on the road. That way, every day, I get a quart of water, Green Tea with Ganoderma, and a tasty beverage.

This is not a cure-all, nor a promise of such, but just my testimonial of what this product has done for me. Your effect may be similar or different, but I believe you WILL enjoy the benefits of health that the Ganoderma gives you.

If you want a free sample from me, let me know and I’ll send you a couple of packs. But why waste time doing that when I am guaranteeing your satisfaction?!?

One last favor to ask: PLEASE forward this information to anyone that likes Coffee, Green Tea or Hot Chocolate, and is health conscious, OR everyone in your address book! Be sure to ask them to forward it on also. In just a few days we can have this Great Information all the way around the world! Ain’t technology wonderful!

Oh, and one more thing: We are looking for more distributors. So if you want to be paid for drinking coffee, or at the very least get your OrganoGold Coffee at wholesale, get in contact with me directly, or check out my website http://smurray.organogold.com/ and click on the "Join" button at the top on the right side.

*Now the legal stuff: The product guarantee is only good for product ordered within two (2) weeks from the initial posting of this blog. Requests for reimbursement must be sent in the original box to me with the unused portion (75% or more) undamaged and untampered with. No CODs. Anybody suspected of fraud will not be reimbursed. This reimbursement offer is given in good faith and all participants are expected to act in like manner.

Address Questions to me at: PdProTour@AOL.com, or:

Scott Murray
609 8th Ave, #306
Greeley, CO 80631 for returns.

Here’s to your good health!

Are We Having Fun Yet?

2010-09-29T23:16:00.000-07:00

Oh, are we having some kind of fun now?!?!??!?

Long story short, I had gone to the grocery store to get some milk and salad. When I got back to my apartment, I went to put the stuff away and noticed a bottle of tea had spilled. The cap was loose and the bottle got knocked over. So, I got down on my hands and knees to clean up the mess. While down there I felt something walk across my foot! Not being the jumpy kind, I looked down to see a brownish grey rat sitting there looking at me! As I moved it skittered away behind my lunch bag, but came right back out.

I picked up said critter; it was friendly. I put it in my laundry basket (sans clothes) and offered it a bottle cap of water and a carrot. It was not interested in either! So, it was friendly and well watered and fed. I figure it had to be a previous tenants pet and got along just fine between when they moved out and it found me.

So I’m now a caretaker of a small furry critter. I named it PITA, short for Pain In The Ass! Very appropriate. It likes to chew, gnaw, nibble, etc.

My air mattress was losing air while I slept on it. Investigating, I found a seam that was leaking air. Oh, how to repair? Didn’t matter: PITA was out running around and gnawed a hole in the corner of the air mattress. Problem solved. Fortunately I had a loveseat hideaway bed and started using that. Underneath it was a great place for PITA to hide her treasures.

Fast forward to September 20th. The landlord allowed the electricity to get turned off, and it wasn’t back on at midnite, so I decided to get another apartment. That was the last straw in a Looooooong line of frustrations. The next day I pulled out the stops, started calling around and found this apartment. It was being held for somebody else, but they were dragging their feet, so my new landlord gave it to me. It’s a studio, and more money, but nicer and QUIETER.

Now Joy of Joys: work is down 20% due to us being between seasons. It’s no longer tourist season, and it will be a while before the snow starts blowing and it’s ski season. That, plus the downturn in the economy, has made life difficult for many. That’s part of the reason that I’ve become an OrganoGold distributor. Read more in my next blog.

Catch y’all later, eh.
Until then, keep the rubber side down, and your chin up.

Ponzi Schemes

2010-06-24T11:08:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm not alone. I checked in on an Investment Club that I joined to find the following:

Palm Beach Gardens investment group collected $27.7M from Ponzi scheme, SEC says

http://www.palmbeachpost.com/money/palm-beach-gardens-investment-group-collected-27-7m-762936.html

The "Club" has been in litigation with the originating company since this time last year. Supposedly the funds are frozen and all are waiting for the lawsuit trial to start in September. We'll see.

It may be asked: How can somebody as smart as me be conned into something like this. Answer: I'm only as good as the information that I am given.

I'm not alone.

Remember when President Bush was told that Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction? Then when we get there, there's none to be found! (or so we're told.) President
Bush acted on information that was given to him. So who's at fault here? The President or his advisors?

So now we're involved in a Ponzi Scheme in Afganistan and Iraq. Our Government is sending assets over there, and we're not getting a return on our investment. Then, when a leading General points that out to our President, the General gets "beheaded", just like when somebody spoke out against the King in Feudal times.

Obviously our President is not capable of taking public criticism.

So, I'm not alone. It doesn't make it any easier. Fortunately, I had taken steps to lessen the impact of loss from the Club.

But, like the olde saying goes: "If you don't try, you won't know." I tried. Many things. Some successes, some failures.

And my Sister in her wisdom has advised me against making SOME mistakes a THIRD time!

Thank God for having a conscious. Even if she does live in Florida.

Keep the rubber side down, and your chins up!

Back in the Saddle, Part II

2010-05-20T14:28:00.000-07:00

I forgot... When I got my new (refurbished, new to me) laptop, it did not have a phone jack for dial-up. So when I took it to my computer dude, he said it could not support one. So I went to Cricket and signed up for broadband at $40 a month plus $5 a month insurance. Hence, I got rid of my web site since I don't have time to really make it work, and that saves me $20 a month, and got rid of my land line through Qwest, which saves me $25 a month, which pays for my Cricket!

The clutch in my truck went out, and it won't be repaired until next week, so I get to drive the "Blue Truck", which has been repainted, thanks to your's truly hitting an elk, to a metallic brown. Regardless of the color, it's an ok truck. It pulls good, but overheats, so you have to take the hills slower. And the engine retarders don't work as well as those on my truck, so I have to go down hills at 20MPH. I am SO learning patience.

AND as usual, there's no forcast for snow in the mountains, so I've been getting my ass kicked with snow and crappy roads.

Let's see, what else is there? Hmmmm, nothing that I can think of. Well, then, that's all till the next time, eh?

Y'all take care and God bless, and keep the rubber side down.

Back in the Saddle

2010-05-18T01:14:00.000-07:00

I'm back in the saddle again, thanks to Terence. My graphics board (mother board) on my olde laptop died, and it would take a minimum of $400 to replace it. For that kind of money I/we could buy a new one, or one that's reconditioned, and that's what he did.

Thank you Terence.

It's a Toshiba Satellite.

It's nice and fast. Now. However, when I got it, it had Windows Vista, and that don't work, and neither did anything else on the laptop. So, I took it in to my computer wizard and he did his magic and got me up and running. We took the olde harddrive from the olde computer and turned it into an external harddrive for backups. Slick.

At work, we had two guys quit in two weeks. They decided to go with a flatbed company out of Denver that promised them, nay, GUARANTEED them, $6k per month and home weekends. I ran a skateboard for 13 years, and know for a fact that that was a bogus claim. IF there was money to be had doing so, I would have been there already. I'll stick to running a tanker.

The snow is unrelenting.

I have a new reason to celebrate Cinco de Mayo: my bankruptcy was discharged on May 5th.

A lot's been going on, but can't really divulge all of the info at this time. When the time is right I will, so y'all will have to wait.

Until next time...

Whatta Week

2010-03-25T02:33:00.000-07:00

Greetings all:
Well, I'm excited. Booked the flights for my vacation in June. Will be nice to thaw out!

For those of you who do not know, my son Terence is in the Army stationed at Fort Gordon in Augusta, Georgia going through his Advanced Individual Training (AIT).

Tanya (daughter), Robbie and their daughter Trinity will be driving down from Akron, Ohio to Atlanta and picking us up at the airport, and we will go over to Augusta to see Terence on Saturday, June 5th. Then on Sunday when he has to go back to camp, we will drive down to Florida to see my Mom (her birthday’s on the 9th), Sister, and Nephew and his wife. Then back to Colorado on the 10th, and back to work on the 11th.

I am SO glad this past week is over. It's been hell. Had a NASTY cold. Ok, I don’t know of any cold that’s not nasty, but as the Late Great John Morris used to say: “Don’t confuse the issue with facts.”

I don't get sick often, but when I do... WOWEEEEEeeee! Look out! Glad I've got a good constitution and don't get sick often. Pity those that do. Thank God for our health. So, anyway, I should be good for another 2 years. That’s about the way the cycle runs.

But Brad, one of my bosses, the one who does the dispatching, is right about one thing: you can be sick and miserable at home, or you can be sick and miserable at work. At least if you're working you are making money, and in some cases the work can take your mind off of your misery. If you stay home, you miss those days of work, the $$$$, and focus on the misery which can make it worse, or at least seem to. Plus, being a very small company, my absence has an effect beyond my paycheck. So, looking at the big picture, I have more to think about than just me. (Hi Linda!) I gotta do what I gotta do to help keep the company afloat.

Oh yeah! As of the end of March, I’ll have been with this company Six (6) years! Longest run for me with any company. Hmmm… I wonder if the following is coincidental…? Last week, Friday, I had one helluva day. Granted I was sick with a cold, and the weather was crappy, but the people on the highways were stupid to the Nth degree. Yes, more so than usual. I had six, count ‘em, SIX (6) close calls that, by the Grace of God, didn’t end up with paperwork.

Ok, I have to interject a note here. That was six situations that I had to take major evasive action with my tractor-trailer in order to avoid an accident. Twice while loaded, four times while empty. A concerted effort on my part, not just an instinctual reaction. Driving in the purest sense of the word, taking the vehicle to the MAX and KNOWING its limitations.

The one was a dumb-ass that cut between me and a LARGE pile of snow at our store in Avon. After I got parked I went over to said young lady and asked her: “Are you stupid or drunk?” She proceeded to get lippy with me, and I informed her that if she wanted to, she could explain to the local law enforcement personnel why she was stupid. End of conversation. The local law enforcement personnel and I get along VERY well. Then a female got out of the back seat of the car and calmly say to me: “Don’t yell.” I got in her face and yelled at her: “I yell at stupid people!” That made her jump back and she smacked her head on the edge of the roof! Vindication! Oh, I was not mad, I was LIVID! So much so that I was ready to put my NEW size 11.5 steel toed Red Wing boots up their asses! That would have been an interesting set of snowshoes! Oh, the visuals…! I can use that in a comedy routine… (Randy, can you help me here?)

Of course, there are those that believe I have NO sense of humor (or any sense) let alone be able to have a comedy routine. Proof of my sense of humor is this: you’re my friend, aren’t you?
For reference, one day a couple of years ago I counted the number of incidents (that I knew of) that I believe I was spared paperwork (by the Grace of God) that did NOT require major evasive action on my part, such as deer on the highway, rock or snow slides, etc. BTW, that number was 17! I figure that’s an average day!

Running the hills (translation for you flatlanders: mountains) is inherently risky, and those of us who do it daily are somewhat inured to the stupidity of the slope dopes (translation: skiers). But this day tested me to the limits; more so than usual.

I wrote about that in the Prairie Times magazine. I prayed to God to put me in a job that challenged me both physically and mentally, and realized one day that hauling fuel in the mountains did just that. I was already there! If you have not read that article it is the previous post on this blog.

I have been told by many that know me that “The Company” does not appreciate me for all I do for them, and the extent to which I will go to do my job. As the “Ask” article points out, it’s the challenge. But Brad, bless his heart, has been good to me. A better boss a person cannot ask for. Now if we could do something about his sense of humor…! You want to see him light up, ask him about Conoco! But that’s another story.

Had an epiphany the other day:
God is my co-pilot.
He has to be: Brad is my dispatcher!

Well, that’s all for now. This week has been so wrought with challenges and excitement that I could literally write a book about it. But, probably like the first one, I wouldn’t have the time necessary to properly market it. I am working on a couple more. Stay tuned.

This Blog has been brought to you by:
Slope dopes
The Rocky Mountains
God
Brad Schreiber and Linda Robinson (of)
Precision Fuel Haulers (and)
Crown Royal (Damn good stuff! A gift from a GOOD FRIEND! But that’s another story.)

Final thoughts:
Thank God every day for what you’ve got, and be content with it. For as it has been stated by many, you never know what you’ve got until it’s gone. Because if you don’t appreciate what you’ve got, God can show you in a heartbeat how good you had it!

And…
Tell the people around you how much you appreciate them, no matter who they are or what they do. The kind word you say may be the difference between them having a good day, or not. It only takes a moment, and can make all the difference in the world to them. You know me, and know that I go out of my way to talk to as many people as I can. I’ve gotten in trouble because of it, but in the Grand Scheme of things, it’s a small price to pay for the betterment of mankind. I figure that if I can make a person smile or laugh, that’s one less grump the next person has to deal with! But, that’s another story.

Y’all take care and God bless. Eh?

Damn! That Crown Royal is good stuff! I don’t know which is better: a few shots of that, or hyperventilating! Oh God, I’m having WAY too much fun here! G’nite all.

Oh yeah, one more thing: Pray for our country. As the article I forwarded to my E-mail list states, Obama is the best thing that has happened to this country in a long time. Pray that we regain the country our Forefathers created. I believe God put Obama in office to drive this country to its knees. He’s succeeding.

God bless y’all.

ME.

P.S. Damn! That Crown Royal is good stuff! No, wait, I erred. It should have been:
Dmna?LLA;2#L the at Crown rohoul is good shitl2!..

Lol

I kill me!

Ask

2010-03-25T00:37:00.000-07:00

Originally published in the Prairie Times, "Wish Granted", November 11, 2009

Ask. There’s an olde saying: “Be careful what you ask for.” Oh how I know that’s true!

My primary occupation is driving. As varied as my resume’ is, I can almost say “I’ve done it all!” with a few exceptions. I’ve gone from hauling rocks to being the truck driver for a CART Racing Team. They’re the ones that had the races in downtown Denver.

A few years ago I got tired of driving, and started praying to get out of trucking. An incident at a company granted me my wish. Not wanting to be unemployed for very long, I went looking for another driving job, to no avail. Soon enough I found a job working at a gravel pit. I wasn’t driving, and I wasn’t happy. It was a job, but it didn’t pay the bills. I got my wish.

That job tanked and I got on with a construction company, switching between driving the dump truck and hauling all the heavy equipment, or Tonka Toys. It was a good job, almost paid the bills, but the boss was not too keen on safety or maintenance. After a year of his testing my patience, the Good Lord saw fit to send a new position my way.

I now drive a fuel tanker and have been with this company for over five years. What I do is load the fuel at the refinery or pipelines and haul to gas stations and truck stops in Colorado, with the majority of my deliveries in the mountains. I even deliver to the station in Elizabeth.

When the weather is nice, it’s a great job. When Mother Nature decides to throw her worst at us, one cannot help but ask one’s self “What in tarnation were you thinking?” There have been times going over Loveland Pass that the only way I could tell I was still on the road, was to lean out the driver’s side window and watch for the little white dotted line! Just this past winter one driver got disoriented and literally drove off the side of the mountain. He survived, thank you for asking.

This past winter (’08 – ’09) was brutal in many respects, especially in the high country. Because of it, once again I got to praying for God to put me into a job that would challenge me and pay the bills. I have to admit, I was tired of playing in the snow.

Then one night after a storm had passed through, the moon was full, the mountains were clear, snow was still hanging in the trees, and the road was in rather good shape, that it hit me: this was it! This is what I had been praying for.

At first I didn’t comprehend, then slowly the realization sunk in. Driving a fuel tanker in the mountains was the ultimate challenge! I drive an 80,000# guided missile, loaded with upwards of 8,000 gallons of highly flammable liquid sitting not more than five feet behind me. I deal with mountain roads, snow, ice, whiteout conditions, and crazy drivers, every day as a routine part of my occupation. Mentally and physically, it is a daily test of skill, patience, timing, and by the Grace of God, luck.

I started asking some of the Olde Timers why they have hauled fuel for so many years. They all stated that the pay is good, camaraderie is the best, and they like the autonomy. But the one outstanding point that all of them made is: The Challenge.

I’ve got what I asked for!

Various stuff

2010-02-09T04:32:00.000-08:00

After chili con carnage, house is toast
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/35185944/ns/us_news-weird_news/
Driver chokes on chili, passes out, crashes into home, which will be razedLOWELL, Mass. - A house struck by a lumber truck whose driver said he passed out after choking on chili will be demolished.Police said Monday that structural engineers and city building inspectors determined that tearing down the entire home is the only safe way to remove the truck, which has been lodged in the house since Friday.The truck driver, Eric Gremm, 59, said that he choked on the Wendy's chili he was eating when his truck hit a bump Friday. The flatbed truck veered off the road and slammed into the home in Lowell, which is about 25 miles northwest of Boston.
Gremm said emergency workers at the scene told him that he had passed out, but he could not remember losing consciousness.He was hospitalized with minor injuries. A woman in the home was not hurt. Gremm has not been charged, but the investigation continues. Police said alcohol and drugs have been ruled out. Police said he could be cited for eating while driving.
And I thought texting while driving was a bad idea.

And now a few amusing anecdotes from recent weeks…:

Change
Cody Bradshaw runs to the East Coast every week. In the process he accumulates quite a bit of change from his purchases, which he then puts into a LARGE jar at home.
While over at his house for dinner, he took me on a tour of his place, which I had never seen before. It’s a very nice house BTW. I saw the jar full of change and asked if I could take it to a friend of mine.
June is home bound, in a wheelchair since she was 5 years olde, due to Polio. One of her passions is being a numismatist, or a person who collects coins. One of the problems she has run into is getting coins with the “P” on them, indicating they are from Philadelphia’s mint. However, Cody’s stash should have a lot of “P” coins.
So I gathered up the coins from Cody’s jar and lugged them to June’s house. In the ensuing days she sorted all of the coins, counted them, and added the ones she needed to her collection. Later, I gave her Cody’s address so she could mail him a check for the amount, which was around $160! However, the check she sent was $.05 off, so in the note to Cody she informed him that I owe that to him!
So Cody goes to his P.O. Box and finds the letter from June, with a check enclosed. The poor bastard didn’t know who June was or what the check was for! Too much blood in his alcohol I guess. Anyway, as the day progressed, he figured it out. As he told me, he had forgotten all about the change.

The Plastic Bags
The Greeley Tribune ran an article about a man that couldn’t work, so to occupy his time he cut plastic grocery bags into strips and crocheted various items, such as hats and small purses. He also had access to the yellow warning tape that’s used in construction zones.
One of the comments in the article was that his color schemes were limited since the plastic grocery bags were predominantly white with various colored lettering, and the warning tape was yellow with black lettering. This got me thinking…
I E-mailed a contact at the Greeley Tribune and asked if the plastic bags the paper was delivered in were available for purchase. I had been getting my paper in bags that were blue, green and red. That would add a little color to the man’s life!
Joe got back to me and told me what the ‘sleeves’ of bags cost. He also had a bunch of green bags with obsolete lettering on them that he would be willing to give to the man. So I went down to the Tribune, plunked down a few bucks, and Joe would deliver 1500 of the green bags and as many of the other bags to the man.
I asked Joe if anybody else had come forth with this idea; he said no. It figures; I’m always thinking outside of the proverbial box. I see things from a different perspective than most people.

Words
At some of the stores that I deliver to, they have donuts and hotdogs that must be rotated on a regular basis. The donuts daily, usually in the morning before the new batch arrives. Hotdogs are removed from the grill about every 3 – 4 hours. When it’s time, the items are removed from their location, usually thrown away, and written off.
Tonite I had a delivery at such a store. When I arrived there to make a fuel delivery I bantered with the kids working there. As I was heading out the door to my truck I stopped and asked the girl working there if she had any “goodies”, meaning stuff that was to be written off.
In embarrassment I started laughing at my choice of words, and must have turned 17 shades of red! I didn’t even wait for an answer and head out the door to my truck to make the delivery.
When I went back inside afterwards, I apologized to the young lady for my poor choice of words. As I told her: “There are 500,000 common American English words for me to choose from, and I have to pick THAT ONE !” Fortunately she didn’t take me too seriously and told me to grab a donut on the way out the door.
I don’t usually make major mistakes like that in my wording. The last time I had I was working for Builder’s Square as a product delivery person.
I had a LARGE extension ladder to deliver to a residence; I believe it was a 32 footer. I was able to find the residence easily enough, and was greeted by the lady of the house. She was HOT! Short, petite, built to the 9’s, wearing only a tube top that concealed little, and short shorts. I was drooling on myself. She showed me where in the garage her husband wanted the ladder placed: up on the wall on three small angle-iron brackets. I told the lady that I didn’t think they would hold the weight of the ladder. She asked me to try anyway, so I did. As expected, when I lifted the ladder up on the brackets and slowly released the ladder from my grasp, the brackets did not hold, bent down, and the ladder slid back into my hands. I set the ladder down on the floor.
The lady asked me if I thought the brackets could be bent back up and if they would hold the weight of the ladder. I told her I did not think so, because: “…After a bracket like that is bent, it destroys the SEXUAL INTEGRITY of the metal.” I meant to say “STRUCTURAL INTEGRITY”! Really, I did.
Again, I turned 17 shades of red, corrected my wording to the proper words, and apologized for my Freudian slip. She smiled so sweet, batted her eyes at me and accepted my apology. I could have died!
Part of the problem that I had during that delivery was the lady was blatantly showing off her ‘goodies’, which made concentration on my part difficult. Fortunately, I lived through that experience.
That is why, for the most part, to this day, if I have something important to tell somebody, I will write them a note or a letter so I can be sure to say what I want to say, without tripping over my tongue. Thank God for “spell checking”. Yes Kevin, that’s a bit different than personal or business checking.

Until next time, keep the rubber side down.

Red Skelton's recipe for a Perfect Marriage

2010-01-20T00:55:00.000-08:00

I truly do miss his humor

PRICELESS

For those of you old enough to remember Red Skelton, I think you will enjoy this e-mail. For those of you not old enough, you will see what you missed. Either way, his humor was always clean and he was a great entertainer. A rerun of great one liners from the man who was known for his clean humor. I hope you get a chuckle or two reading them once more.

RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

*1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

*2. We also sleep in separate beds.Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas .

*3. I take my wife everywhere....but she keeps finding her way back.

*4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.So I suggested the kitchen.

*5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

*6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said 'There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!' So I bought her an electric chair.

*7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor.I asked where the car was. She told me, 'In the lake.'

*8. She got a mud pack, and looked great for two days.Then the mud fell off.

*9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, 'Am I too late for the garbage?' The driver said, 'No, jump in!'

*10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

*11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was “Always”.

*12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months; I don't like to interrupt her.

*13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, 'What's on the TV?'I said, 'Dust!'

Can't you just hear him say all of these?I love it........these were the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word. It was just clean and simple fun.

And he always ended his programs with the words, 'God Bless.'

"FOR EVERY MINUTE YOU ARE ANGRY, YOU LOSE SIXTY SECONDS OF HAPPINESS"

Stop Signs - The Complaint!

2010-01-06T23:57:00.001-08:00

Stop Signs - My Response

2010-01-06T23:50:00.000-08:00

Stop Signs - Gnarly Trombone's take

2010-01-06T23:42:00.001-08:00

Wildlife

2009-11-11T02:49:00.000-08:00

The United States Air Force Academy (USAFA) is just north of Colorado Springs. This is a condensed version of an E-mail I had received and my response:

This huge elk was hit by truck where I work. Darn it.

Forwarded from USAFA Safety - Elk strike photo shows a dead elk so don't open if you don't want to see it.

Good morning Team USAFA,
As the fall season progresses and the weather cools it marks a time of high activity for the wildlife across our 18,000+ acres. This time of year marks the rutting season for both our mule deer and elk populations. These animals are very active during this time and with their hormones raging they will do things out of the norm. I've noticed a significant spike the last two-weeks of deer-strike blotter entries. We even had a bull elk killed after being struck on stadium blvd. Fortunately our member was not harmed however you will see the extensive damage to the vehicle. I've attached two pictures of the incident. Additionally, these animals are much more aggressive during the mating season. If you are out enjoying the scenery USAFA has to offer and come across any deer give them a wide berth. The attached video link shows a little of this aggressiveness. https://afkm.wpafb.af.mil/DocView.asp?DocIDp89553

I ask each of you to remind your folks to keep their eyes out for wildlife on or near the roads. The ever changing weather also adds a higher level of risk for strikes. I had a close call with three mule deer bucks in the fog earlier in the week. Use your high-beam headlights when possible at night, slow down, and use a good visual scan to spot these animals. We want to protect both the animals and our members from injury.

Response: As a professional driver, I have to slightly disagree with the statement you made: "Use your high-beam headlights when possible at night, slow down, and use a good visual scan to spot these animals. "

Yes, use your high-beams while driving, BUT when you spot these animals along the side or on the road, drop the beams to low, and kill the driving lights. You've heard of the expression "Deer in the headlights"? Well, that's what that means. When they're caught in the bright lights of a vehicle, including the driving lights, they will either freeze, or run out in front of you because that's the only area they can see!

Problem is, too, many people have their driving lights hard-wired into their headlights or marker lights and cannot turn them off. OR... don't know where the switch is. So, you may want to convey this tidbit of info to your peeps.

Thank you for the original public service announcement.

And as for the first line of the memo, my response to my friend: “They're ALL huge. The guy is lucky it didn't end up on his lap! The elk I hit with the big truck caused $14K damage!”

Obscurity

2009-10-14T03:38:00.000-07:00

I am on such a roll! This un-scheduled vacation has been good for me!

Ever have one of those days where you can’t remember the important things, but do remember the really bizarre, inane, or obscure? Where right in the middle of something important you suddenly have a case of Déjà vu.

Now Déjà vu, by definition, is the “feeling of having already experienced a situation”. Like going to a place you’ve never been to before and knowing your way around.

I have something similar to that, but different, that occurs. Every memory has a key that causes it to come forward into your conscience thought. There’s a fancy technical medical name for it, but I don’t know what it is, and cannot seem to find it, even though I have some amazing resources at my disposal. Finding things is the basis behind Colorado Finders (.com). So does that make me a failure? I digressed. I digest too, but that’s another story.

Anyway, every once-in-a-while I will suddenly have a very vivid memory of some obscure location that at one time or another I had visited. I may have only been there once, but I could tell you most anything about that place. (I could, but I probably wouldn’t.) When that happens I check my surroundings and what’s going on around me to try to figure out what the key was to trigger the memory.

One person theorized that I was having an OOBE, or an Out Of Body Experience, and going back to that location, hence the ‘memory’ of that place in vivid detail. My sister says good medication will take care of those theories.

Whatever the case, every once-in-a-while I short-circuit and can’t remember what I need to. So, because of that problem, as a public service I am giving you a couple of tidbits that your memory probably can’t dredge up either.

Remember Snow White and the Seven Dents? No, sorry, that was the X-rated version. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs? I know, that’s not a PC title, but I didn’t write it. Anyway, here’s the name of the Seven Dwarfs:

Doc, Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy, Bashful, Sneezy, and Dopey

Here’s another goodie for you. Remember the Roadrunner? In the original cartoons the coyote was called “Coyote”. Later they expanded his name to “Wiley E. Coyote”. Do you know what their Latin names are?

Road Runner: Accelleratii Incredibus

Coyote: Carnivorous Vulgaris

My job here is finished.

HELP!

2009-10-13T03:01:00.000-07:00

Sometimes people need help.

Many times those people who need help are too proud to ask for it. They go without any help, trying to go it alone. They may succeed, and they may not.

And then there are those who, even after swallowing their pride and asking for help, are refused by those they thought they could look to for help. And they too go without any help, trying to go it alone.

Then there are those who need help, and without asking anyone, are offered help in one form or another. This is the situation my daughter, Tanya, has got me in.

She and her husband, Robbie, have quit smoking. At least that is the declaration she gave me. Truth be told, having to put up with a husband and newborn child, Tanya hasn’t actually stopped smoking. I talked with her on Monday, October 12, 2009, and she was making that familiar whooshing/gagging/hacking/heavy breathing sound that smokers make when they’re talking on the phone and sucking on their cancer sticks.

In a manner by which I still cannot figure out, I “volunteered” to help her quit smoking.

Short story long, if I send her a picture of me in a cheerleader outfit, (complete with pompoms of course) she promised me that she would quit smoking completely. She would proudly hang the 8 x 10 full color glossy in her living room for all to see, and to remind her the sacrifice her Daddy made for her to quit smoking.

And there would be a silver lining to that: I would hang a copy of said picture on my refrigerator which I am sure would help me lose lots of weight. And the death of household vermin would be a welcome side effect.

Tanya stated that the method of acquiring said cheerleader outfit would probably be easier at this time of year since Halloween is just around the corner. She told me, also, that photo-chopping by Kevin would not be permitted. He’s already done that to me with a girdle and bra combo. I actually looked pretty good in that outfit, so the cheerleader get-up may not be so bad.

I love how my Daughter is so willing to help me make a fool of myself!

Update

2009-10-07T00:08:00.000-07:00

Well, I guess I owe an apology to Kevin of the Dane Bramage blog. I’ve ragged on him mercilessly about blogging, or his lack thereof. For a long time there was nothing there, then a ray of hope, then nothing again. Life has a way of getting in the way of doing the things we want to do. So now here I am lacking in my duties.

Welcome to Colorado! Yesterday (Monday, October 5, 2009) I had not heard of any snow being forecasted for the mountains. The boss said there was an accident up by Eisenhower Tunnel, so instead of sending me I-70 to Avon, thereby having to go past the tunnel and possibly being caught up in the back up, he sent me to Winter Park, via Berthoud Pass, US-40.

Berthoud Pass is not bad, especially since they have redone it. It just was yesterday it snowed faster than the plows could keep up with it, and I am not really familiar with that road. So, it took me quite a while to negotiate the various hairpin turns and get to and from my delivery. I guess I fared better than Bill. He was up on Loveland Pass and a pickup truck passed a car, lost control, spun out, and went under Bill’s trailer. No injuries or damage to the tanker trailer, but I imagine the pickup truck driver is going to have to burn his shorts!

I do have to say the snow in the trees, and the moon trying to come through the clouds, was pretty. I am blessed in that driving at night in the mountains I get to see things that other people never will. My sister told me they have medications for conditions like that. I think she was being sarcastic. What do YOU think?

I will try to do better at posting. Try. I am only one person.

Keep the rubber side down.
Y’all take care and God bless.

Busy

2009-06-15T14:13:00.000-07:00

Busy. Our day driver who is a Sergeant with the Army National Guard had his yearly "vacation" with them in Canada, and is now back. But for two weeks the boss and I ran our proverbial butts off trying to stay on top of things.

It probably would have helped if summer would finally arrive in Colorado. It was warmer in February than it is now in June. We have yet to have an 85 degree day.

I was travelling west on I-70, just west of Frisco, and the clouds were moving in. I was watching them roll over the tops of the peaks and down into the valley ahead.

I don't remember the name of the movie, nor the critter involved, but in said movie the bugs came around a hillside and into town as a large, moving, black cloud, with the Sun and everything behind them blocked from view. That was how this snow cloud came down into the valley.

When I ran into said cloud, there was nothing to see beyond it; no road, no mountains, no traffic... Nothing. The wind and the force of this cloud was enough to slow my truck down about 5 MPH! Keep in mind, snow is water, and water is one of the most powerful forces in Nature.

It took about ten seconds for this 'wall' to clear and I had decent visibility again. I believe that was the same night Loveland Pass went to the dogs, again, but that's another story.

So, please forgive my lapse of blogging. With our day driver back, hopefully I'll be able to get back into some semblance of normalcy.

Until next time, keep the rubber side down.

Obama night on the town

2009-05-31T15:16:00.001-07:00

I don't mind that the President and First Lady went out on a date; every loving couple should.

I do wonder who's money they used: theirs or ours.

What bothers me is that he stated he promised her a night on the town in New York City when the election was all said and done. So, now, he's fulfilled THAT promise to her, what about the rest of us?

When is he going to start helping the REAL economy? When is he going to start helping the thousands of people facing foreclosures? When is he going to learn basic math?

I just found out that a local hobby shop, Don's Hobbies, went out of business. Where's Obama's bailout money for them?

My boss is very Blue Collar. A friend of mine is a financial wizard and is very White Collar. Neither knows the other, but both can see we are on an express train to hell in regards to the economy.

Pray. Pray for your family, Pray for your neighbors, Pray for your City, Pray for your County or Parish, Pray for your State, and Pray for our wonderful country, The United States of America.

May God have Mercy on us before it's too late.

Introduction

2009-05-25T15:22:00.000-07:00

Greetings! My friend, Kevin McClain, has a blog www.danebramage.blogspot.com and has been pestering me for quite some time to make my own blog to use as a creative writing outlet.

The other motivation for me to do this is the fact that the Greeley Tribune, for whom I have written for intermittently since 1999, has changed the rules and the way articles are submitted and published. Hence, I might as well do this my way, vent when I want, the way I want.

This is new to me, and very under construction. So please have patience with me as I learn about blogging and getting things posted.

As for the name, "The Short Fat Truck Driver", I have been using that for some time. I am not really short, 5'9", and weigh in at only 250#. However, the whole quote is: "...But nobody listens to The Short, Fat Truck Driver (until it's too late)!" Meaning, when somebody does something (stupid) that I need to express words of caution, I do so and follow it up with the quote. And it's found out I'm usually right!

Also, please visit my web site: www.coloradofinders.com

Thank you for visiting.