Tuesday, October 13, 2009


Sometimes people need help.

Many times those people who need help are too proud to ask for it. They go without any help, trying to go it alone. They may succeed, and they may not.

And then there are those who, even after swallowing their pride and asking for help, are refused by those they thought they could look to for help. And they too go without any help, trying to go it alone.

Then there are those who need help, and without asking anyone, are offered help in one form or another. This is the situation my daughter, Tanya, has got me in.

She and her husband, Robbie, have quit smoking. At least that is the declaration she gave me. Truth be told, having to put up with a husband and newborn child, Tanya hasn’t actually stopped smoking. I talked with her on Monday, October 12, 2009, and she was making that familiar whooshing/gagging/hacking/heavy breathing sound that smokers make when they’re talking on the phone and sucking on their cancer sticks.

In a manner by which I still cannot figure out, I “volunteered” to help her quit smoking.

Short story long, if I send her a picture of me in a cheerleader outfit, (complete with pompoms of course) she promised me that she would quit smoking completely. She would proudly hang the 8 x 10 full color glossy in her living room for all to see, and to remind her the sacrifice her Daddy made for her to quit smoking.

And there would be a silver lining to that: I would hang a copy of said picture on my refrigerator which I am sure would help me lose lots of weight. And the death of household vermin would be a welcome side effect.

Tanya stated that the method of acquiring said cheerleader outfit would probably be easier at this time of year since Halloween is just around the corner. She told me, also, that photo-chopping by Kevin would not be permitted. He’s already done that to me with a girdle and bra combo. I actually looked pretty good in that outfit, so the cheerleader get-up may not be so bad.

I love how my Daughter is so willing to help me make a fool of myself!

1 comment:

  1. OH!!! Sure now you don't want my help. I was all set to surf the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders site to find you a new body. Then 'snip' 'plop' put your head on it. Kinda like the end of Frankenhooker. Fine. Become a drag queen. See if I care.